Changes
by kittycat1810
Summary: Sonfics on Rory. I own nothing! OOCish rory.
1. Changes

**Rory fic. My 3****rd**** songfic. Please review.**

**I'm not suposed to be scared of anything, but I don't know where I am**

There were many times he woke up in a strange place not knowing where he was. First, in the hospital when he was 4 in the hospital with no memory of anything before. He'd apparently fallen down the stairs. Later, he found out that his mom and step-dad had pushed him down. Even though he ran away, he still remembered the abuse every time he changed; every time he fought he would remember fighting in street fights to pay for food. He hadn't ran away before because he didn't want to leave his siblings. Mary, his little sister. Erica, his older sister, who was also the reason he tried to get close to Erica. She was a lot like one of the sisters he couldn't save. Chris was his older brother. All of them died by their step-fathers gang. The older siblings excluding Rory had been into gangs, drugs, alchohol, and having no responsibility, even though he took their beatings.

Then again when he woke up in the house the morning after the party. He had been so confused until Jesse told him what happened.**  
>I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted and nobody understands (how I feel)<strong>

There were many days he never wanted to get out of bed. He was tired of life. With his newest family in White Chapel though, he felt like that less often. They didn't drink, do drugs, abuse, or neglect him. They'd even gotten him a punching bag in the basement.**  
>I'm trying hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs<strong>

His mother tried to drown him. By that time, his first step-dad had died when Rory pushed him down the stairs after he had pointed a gun at Chris. Chris and Erica were dead. Mary tried to pull their mom off, but then he seizure and accidentally kicked them down the stairs. They both died. **  
>There's no one here to talk to and the pain inside is making me numb<br>**He didn't complain. He didn't say how much he hurt. Who would care? Ethan, Benny, Sarah, and Erica thought he was weird and crazy, when he was just trying to not only fit in, but to also be a whole new person. He acted stupid, but he took college courses online.**  
>I try to hold this Under control<strong>

He was always hungry for blood and revenge. He knew only human blood would satisfy his hunger and thought about breaking into the blood bank again, but then the guys would be mad at him. Unlike they thought though, he never bit anyone. He wanted revenge against everyone that had hurt him; all the gangs and step-parents. Except the new ones.**  
>They can't help me 'Cause no one knows<br>**No one knew how much he hurt everyday seeing Mary's eyes looking at him in the form of his own. The only difference, was that his were missing innocence.**  
>Now I'm going through changes, changes<strong>

He'd just been changed into a vampire.**  
>God, I feel so frustrated lately<strong>

He was frustrated that his nightmares cut off. He knew they weren't dreams, but missing memories.**  
>When I get suffocated, save me<strong>

He wanted to be saved from his sorrow.**  
>Now I'm going through changes, changes<strong>

**I'm feeling weak and weary walking through this world alone**

No one could understand how lonely it was being him. No one understood. No one cared enough to see what was in front of them, in his eyes.**  
>Everything you say, every word of it, cuts me to the bone<strong>

Benny and Ethan saying that no one would ever get him did hurt. Every angry, cruel, and harsh word cut him to the bone, and he knew what that felt like because of his original family.**  
>I've got something to say, but now I've got no where to turn<strong>

He had no one to turn to, to listen. His new parents would, but they wouldn't be able to understand how bad he hurt.**  
>It feels like I've been buried underneath all the weight of the world<br>**The world pushed down on him. Pushing him to please everyone, when he didn't want to. It was pushing him to an early grave. No pun intended.**  
>I try to hold this Under control<strong>

He tried to keep his anger under control. He knew several hundred ways to kill someone, but never intended to use them again. When he lost his temper, people got hurt.**  
>They can't help me 'Cause no one knows<br>**Maybe he should be an actor.**  
>Now I'm going through changes, changes<br>God, I feel so frustrated lately  
>When I get suffocated, save me<strong>

He knew no one would.**  
>Now I'm going through changes, changes<strong>

**I'm blind and shakin'**

He had been temporarily blind when his second step-dad poured bleach into his eyes. He'd been so starved that he was shaking so hard that you could put a hand on him and get a friction burn.**  
>Bound and breaking<strong>

He'd been bound by them and beaten. He was already broken, and was busy repairing himself.**  
>I hope I make it through all these changes<br>**He hoped he'd survive everything.**  
>Now I'm going through changes, changes<strong>


	2. Breaking The Habit

**Okay, well people wanted another one so her it is. I do not own anything. Very depressing. Rory centric as is my style.**

Memories consume  
>Like opening the wound<p>

**The fang scars still throbbed often. He couldn't help but wonder how he could have a crush on the girl -no **_**monster**_**- that did this to him. Every night he heard the heartbeats of his family and it took all of his self control not to suck them dry. Sure, Benny's grandma **_**did**_ **make a good blood substitute, but it wasn't enough for him. He wanted –no **_**needed **_**- blood. He felt his body getting weaker every day. For some reason, the blood substitute was not working right**  
>I'm picking me apart again<br>You all assume  
>I'm safe here in my room<br>Unless I try to start again  
><strong>No one knew. They wouldn't look into anything about him, or ask him, unless he started drinking blood again. They never asked if he was alright; how he was doing; how he was handling the change; how he was psychologically handling it. They didn't care. They didn't want him. Sure he was useful to Benny's grandma and, though they didn't know it, them. He got the information they used to take down the supernatural creatures. They didn't know he cut himself; that he often wondered if he should just stake himself. No one wanted him around anyways.<strong>  
>I don't want to be the one<br>The battles always choose  
>'Cause inside I realize<br>That I'm the one confused  
><strong>He hated how it was always him on the outside. How he was always the unwanted. He was always the one holding off the creatures, blackmailing, fighting, sabotaging, anything, until they decided to face the creatures themselves. Inside he was a mess. He was confused as to how everyone was so easily fooled into believing that he was stupid and always oblivious. He was confused as to why it was him and why the blood substitute wasn't working. He didn't want to lose himself to the monster inside of him again. When he was first changed, he did lose himself. He killed people in a completely different city.<strong>  
>I don't know what's worth fighting for<br>Or why I have to scream.  
>I don't know why I instigate<br>And say what I don't mean.

**He wondered if his unlife was worth living for. He wondered if retaining his humanity was worth the endless struggle. He screamed sometimes, into his pillow at night. He couldn't help but be so frustrated that everyone thought he was fine and oblivious when **_**they**_** were the oblivious ones. He always said things that made him seem stupid. Many times he wished he could scream **_**at**_** them with them hearing every word of it.**  
>I don't know how I got this way<br>I know it's not alright.  
>So I'm breaking the habit,<br>I'm breaking the habit  
>Tonight<p>

**He couldn't remember everything about the change, only that it was more excruciating than agony. He'd faced agony before, but this was so much worse. He knew cutting was wrong, but he didn't care. It was his escape.**  
>Clutching my cure<br>I tightly lock the door  
>I try to catch my breath again<br>I hurt much more  
>Than anytime before<br>I had no options left again  
><strong>He clutched the blade and locked the door, propping a chair against it. He hurt. Bad. They'd brushed him off again. He'd heard them say he was worthless and stupid. They were supposed to be his friends.<strong>  
>I'll paint it on the walls<br>'Cause I'm the one that falls  
>I'll never fight again<br>And this is how it ends  
><strong>He would paint with blood, his blood, on the walls. He'd write words like <strong>_**death, freak, dead, worthless, **_**and **_**stupid**_**. It was behind his bed in the corner. No one would see it unless looking for it. He always felt like he was falling, but the chasm had no end. No one was there to help him. No one wanted to save him. He'd stop fighting it. He'd drink human blood from blood banks and hospice patients. Those who would die, he'd give a un-life. Then when they came after him, he'd kill himself.**  
>I don't know what's worth fighting for<br>Or why I have to scream  
>But now I have some clarity<br>to show you what I mean  
>I don't know how I got this way<br>I'll never be alright  
>So, I'm breaking the habit<br>I'm breaking the habit  
>I'm breaking the habit<br>Tonight

**Tonight, it would end.**

**There you go. Reviews are appreciated as are song requests.**


	3. What is Love?

**This is my first songfic, and my first My Babysitter's A Vampire fic. It is about Rory, and what one of my guesses is to his home life.**

**-In a sitch like this you've gotta think  
>And I don't think you think about the way he thinks<strong>

His Mom was fighting with his dad again. It was happening more and more lately. He ran up the stairs as a plate smashed right next to his head. He might be invincible, but he still didn't like the feeling of when something used to hurt.**  
>And I know you live life for yourself<br>But it all comes down to the way you help  
><strong>His parents lived only for themselves. He had taught himself everything he knew. He remembered waking up in the hospital, he was five, but that was his earliest memory. He'd been told he'd fallen down the stairs. His sister told him his parents had pushed him down the stairs.**  
>And I know your life is such a hell<strong>

His parents' life described as hell? Yeah freakin right. Note the sarcasm**  
>You wake up early and you work until<br>You have your drinks at 5 o'clock**

That's when they were the worst. It wouldn't just be broken chairs, bottles, and bruises, no, it would be burning.**  
>The hours blend and your thoughts all haunt<br>Your hopes, your dreams, your everything**

That's what they think, but the abuse haunted his everything.**  
>Well, momma I hope, I dream, that you won't leave<br>**His mom realized when he was about to be seriously hurt. His dad didn't.**  
>And I have a question!<br>What is love?  
>What is love?<strong>

He didn't think it was anything he had experienced. He didn't think his parents were capable of it.**  
>Oh, oh oh oh-oh-oh<br>Is it giving up?  
>Well cause that's not how you raised me, yeah.<br>**Well, they didn't really raise him, but they had taught him one thing. If that was love, he didn't want any**  
>In a sitch like this you gotta think<br>And I don't think you think about the way  
>She thinks<strong>

His parents didn't realize how his sister thought. She died when he was six because of a drug overdose.**  
>And I know you work hard everyday<br>But it all comes down to the way you're  
>Paid<br>**His dad wasn't making as much money, so mom was mad. His mom wasn't making as much money, so dad was mad.**  
>And I know you're oh so sorry dad<br>I truly believe that you're a better man**

No he didn't. His dad wasn't sorry for anything but not quitting his job and drinking full time.**  
>Than to share one kiss then give away<br>All the love you come home everyday  
><strong>His dad constantly cheated on his mom. Usually, they would go to him next and force him.**  
>To your hopes, your dreams, your everything<br>Well daddy, I hope, I dream that she won't leave  
><strong>Then he would be left to his dad, and then he would be found out.**  
>And I have a question!<br>What is love?  
>What is love?<strong>

He had no idea**  
>Oh, oh oh oh-oh-oh<br>Is it giving up?**

He'd tried to kill himself. Unfortunately it didn't work. He'd do it now, but there was the whole 'immortal' issue.**  
>Cause that's not how you raised me.<br>And what is love?  
>What is love?<br>Oh, oh oh oh-oh-oh  
><strong>He'd been raised as a stupid kid with amnesia and brain damage that made it hard for him to remember anything, but, he wasn't stupid. He only acted stupid.**  
>See, I don't know anymore;<br>I used to look up to that love.**

What is love? He'd never wanted _that_ sort of love. He didn't _love_ anyone. He acted in love with Erica, but why would he really want _that_ thing that his mom did to his dad, with the cheating, yelling, lies, and abuse, to happen to him? He had no love.

**Kind of depressing, but it could be.**


End file.
